Weight Loss Woes

The question posed to the tarot: How can I improve my chances of succeeding in my diet?

The Spread: Celtic Cross

The Cards:

1. 8 Swords
2. 9 Swords
3. 6 Swords
4. 6 Cups
5. 5 Cups
6. Queen of Pentacles
7. The Sun
8. 6 of Wands
9. Queen of Wands
10. 5 of Pentacles

My interpretation:
The root of the situation is that I am feeling powerless and overwhelmed to take control of myself. I feel like I am the victim of the way I was socialized to eat. This is compounded by the occasional depressions that I experience which lead to binge eating. The goal that was unknown to me is that this diet is about getting my health back and recovering from the trauma and uprooting of leaving my family and upbringing behind. The goal that I consciously knew was that I regretted the past and suffered from the loss of all the years in which I could have been more healthy. I want to reclaim them.

In the past, I felt innocent of blame in the way I ended up with my lifestyle habits. This is reinforced by the fact that the root cause includes a sense of victimization. However, in the future, I need to embrace nurturing for myself and to just face my problem with love and support. I need to find down-to-earth solutions and be matter-of-fact about my health.

In this situation, I see myself positively. I feel I am able to succeed and that I can be trusting and forgiving of myself (now that I know I have responsibility in this, I can forgive myself for it). Others see me as very capable of being victorious and are already proud of me and the changes I've made.

The lesson I need to know, the key factor to all this, is to be self-assured, energetic, cheerful, and attractive. By letting myself fall into depressions and anguish, I am hurting myself. Striving to maintain energy and cheer and the best appearance possible will lead me the way I want to go. However, the end result is clear hardship ahead, and I may be rejected by some people for embracing this desire and succeeding in it.

My thoughts on the reading:
I was frankly shocked that the Five of Pentacles came up as my result. I expected something more along the lines of the Chariot or some other victorious card. But I supposed I've had it backwards. I assumed the road would be painful and the end result would be joy. The tarot is telling me to find joy now, because it's not all roses to pursue changing myself like this. Many people around me embrace the culture of food and emotional eating. My choices and changes may put them off to me.

Third Reading on Friend

Things have definitely deteriorated between SB and me. We have not spoken since my last reading, and she has called my husband saying ugly things about me. Last night, I felt I was done with her and ready to wash my hands, but J reminded me that she has a real fight with depression going on and needs our help. So I feel the urge to consult the tarot on how to do this. He wants to call her mother and tell her the severe depression she is going through. I think we should back off and let her work things out so she can't hurt us any more in this process. My question to the Tarot is: What is the best way to handle the horrible time SB is going through? Laying out in a Celtic Cross, these were my cards:

1. The Moon
2. The Star
3. The Tower
4. Queen of Wands
5. Knight of Wands
6. King of Swords
7. Eight of Wands
8. Nine fo Wands
9. Page of Swords
10. Page of Wands

First note, that cards 1 and 2 I've never drawn before, and that I am shocked at the number of Wands present. Cards 1 and 2 are opposing cards, setting up a strong internal conflict which I feel. Card 1 reflects my fears and and working out the end of our relationship in my mind, crossed by Card 2 which reflects the newfound peace and hope that yoga has brought to my life. It's influences and affects are challenging my fears and putting me in limbo. Card 3 reflects revelations, emotional outbursts, releasing and sudden change. As the root factor or interior influence, this could refer to either her outburst against me, to my husband, which shocked me. Or it could mean my realization that she is going through serious depression and this changes the dynamic of my possible choices. Card 4 reflects the way I was sure of myself in how to handle her meanness and arguments, but this is in the past. Card 5 reflects the influences and possible outcomes, and is not positive in its representation of passion and charm that could easily go awry. I might make the wrong choice in the future, out of hot-tempered emotion or cockiness. Card 6, though, is more positive, reflecting that ethics and justice are coming my way. If I embrace the intellect and analytical clarity of the King of Swords, I think I can avoid the outcome of the Knight of Wands. Card 7 reflects me, and is a card representing quick action, news, and conclusion. I do need conclusion, and I tend to find one quickly. Card 8 reflects how others see me, as defensive, persevering, and not letting up. This could very well mean what SB needs from me right now, the holding fast and continuing despite being fatigued. Card 9, a card of guidance and revealing an outside factor, points to being truthful, strong, and having fortitude. Card 10, the outcome, is confidence and courage in light of the strength and fortitude of Card 9. As always, the tarot tells me what I know inside myself and need revealed. Now that I have come to see new factors about what is going on, I must hold out and be strong. J says this is in me, as is deep kindness and love. I must be confident in myself without the cockiness of the Knight of Wands.

Daily Reading

Judgement

A new one again. I haven't pulled this in either a daily reading or a specific reading. It stands for judgement, rebirth, absolution, and inner calling. Although in the sense of finding a way or a calling, there can be the negativity of disregarding or discounting everything else. But I get a sense that this is a positive card. Last night I made many negative choices, and awoke this morning with a renewed sense of self that did not include those negative choices. I know who I am and who I am not. Partly that is thanks to J, reminding me of who I am.

Daily Reading

Two of Swords

Not such a good card. Blocked emotions, avoidance, stalemate. Well all morning I have been denying all my sneezing and sore throat and runny nose. I guess I should just go out and buy some dayquil and stop whining about it. Blocked emotions... hm... I also have been pretending that even though the first half of the semester went swimmingly, I'm not terrified to finish out right and graduate. But the fact is, I'm freakin freaked out. Yoga, lots of yoga...

Daily Reading

Knight of Wands

I do think this card reflects the way I'm feeling. I'm so confident about my new routines. I feel the progress I'm making in areas of my life and it's giving me this great high. I just hope the negative aspects of this card aren't also aspects of that great feeling I've got.

Daily Reading

Ace of Swords

I love this card. It represents truth, fortitude, mental force, and justice.

Daily Reading

The Devil

I am feeling very concerned due to my reading on my friend SB, which very negatively seems to point to a break in our friendship. Until I see how this works out, I am going to be feeling a little hopeless about this. Aside from that, this card is about materialism, bondage, and ignorance.